Graduation & Going back to Japan

More than 1 week ago, I graduated from my beloved university, the University of Michigan.

The university, Ann Arbor town and nature, my fellows and professors, ppl in Ann Arbor... Everything in my college life was more than I deserved. I cannot thank people who have supported me and spent time with me enough... (with such a comical look on my face)

It has been three years since I came to the U.S.A.

The happiest change for me is about my parents - At first, they disagreed with my studying in the U.S. and worried too much even after I came to this country, but finally, they believe me and totally support me.

Thinking of my EXTRA-Worrier parents, who cannot even ride an airplane, it might be absurd that I thought of studying abroad even though I was on the way which my parents were satisfied with when I graduated from my high school. But, since I was a child, I had suffered from a deep sense of dissatisfaction and distrust toward my parents because I had felt I was always tied down by their excessive worry; I seriously did not want to keep having such negative feelings toward them, because my parents were only them in the world, and I was eager to understand each other - that's why I chose to study communication.

Although they had been absolutely opposed to and worried over my staying in the U.S., when I started my job search after two years, the best supporters for me were my parents. The job I was looking for, mass communication, did not appear in career forums for international students, so I had to go back to Japan again and again for job interviews while taking classes in the U.S.. I, myself, wondered "Is job hunting worth sacrificing my school life?" "Mass communication is enticing, but am I qualify for it?" and became discouraged...

I think it's impossible to be both a student and a job hunter at the same time... I was always writing my paper in airport lobbies. Once, I was so tired and fell asleep, and missed my connecting flight. I was no longer a student nor a job hunter... Another time, I came back from Japan to Detroit Airport, and received a phone call saying "Come back for the next interview two days later. " Of course, I myself chose to study abroad, so I could do nothing about it.

BOT, when I inclined to job offers other than mass communication, my parents let me recognize my dream again. I just strove to graduate and work as soon as possible in order to save my tuition, but they said "It's ok to stay in the U.S. one more year. You don't have to concern about money. Do what you wanna do until you are satisfied."

Probably, both my dream and my path were totally different from my parents had originally expected. They were already Extra-Worrier, but I made them even more anxious. In spite of that, they have come to believe me and back up my dream - by itself, it's enough to say that I have achieved my main goal of studying abroad.

I also got to think of my parents' feelings from the different view, through the study of communication and psychology, and life in another culture. I notice and regret that I have just "known" what they have thought and not tried to  "understand" them enough.

I enrolled in the University of Michigan in order to major in communication (and psychology, if possible). However, one required class for communication major was held only in spring semester when many of my job interviews were scheduled in Japan... I considered for several weeks, and finally decided not to take the required class. Some of my professors and graduate students were negative about my changing major. Some of the others cared about me saying "You must be sad...you really wanted to study communication..."
Either way, I'm glad I was surrounded by people who strongly wanted their students to pursue their aim.

Now, I think psychology and music, my minor, are the best match. In the first place, I was interested in emotional relationships. Its base is psychology, and communication is the tools for it.  Music relates to both psychology and communication, and plays an important role in society. Honestly, because I quickly finished my study in 3years, I'm not confident that I could get the practical knowledge, which could be used in social life, perfectly (just an apology?). But I, at least, learned the perspectives of these areas, and became able to consider things based on them.

Since I was a child, I had not wanted to go back home. So before I started job hunting, I thought I definitely had to avoid a job near my home. However, since I noticed my parents wanted me to pursue dream of myself, I no more keep away from my home. I was made an offer from a company in my home prefecture. Although I had gotten off from my home, I really love my hometown! It is nice to do the job I want for the area I grew up surrounded by people use the same dialect and have similar characteristics. I will live alone and maybe not go back to my parents’ home so often, but I will support my parents by the best way, including my grand mother’s nursing care. (I may be still supported more than I support...) Until now, all I could do was just graduating fast and saving money and the time to worry... I have to return my school expenses from now. (I don’t know how long it will take...)

During this 3 years in the U.S., I just drove me forward desperately even without the feeling of alive, to borrow my friend’s words, “making a broken wheel rotate.” Everything I saw, listened, touched was like wrapped by an oblate. It might be the reason why I could go through the hard schedule, or if I was not so, I could allow myself to breathe and might be able to enjoy much more things even in the same period. Anyway, I will keep trying in Japan with the love many many people have given me for this three years, or the 22 years I have lived.

By the way, I will keep writing about Ann Arbor on this blog for a while. I haven’t yet described the appeal of the town enough. After that, I may blog about the wonderful thing in my hometown : )

Oh, boarding for the flight to Japan seems to be begun now...

See ya!

P.S. To my friends who got together before my graduation and return, and who came on the day of graduation ceremony when final exam was coming up, thank you very very much!

 I graduated, but I cannot stop getting in touch with outer space! →